This page is dedicated to the works of Jóna Rúna Kvaran. Harmony prepares a feast Mom and Dad are completely furious with me these days and as a matter of fact, so is Gramps in Goosefoot-Lane. The thing is, that Gramps was expecting some Freedom-masons (or something like that) to dinner last Thursday and he desperately needed a good but new recipe. Mom has usually taken care of these male chauvinist party´s for the old fart, but she wasn´t home. The old guy thinks he owns all females in the family and he literally forced me to come over and handle the cooking for him. Naturally I solved this matter with my own version of this awesome Eskimo-recipe. In stead of using only the larva of the fly (which by the way I think is very tasteless of the Eskimos), I decided to use the fly itself as the main course. I mean, it is only fair that the poor insect get a chance to fly around a little bit and expirience the world around it, before the cleaning and frying occurs. Gramps was delighted at first. It took me five whole hours to collect the material for the feast and another five hours to get everything ready and I certainly didn´t hold back my efforts. I even decorated the dinner table with these groovy weeds from the garden which I arranged in three sodapop-bottles, for that ungrateful bunch. I couldn´t even take my nap that afternoon! I mean, everybody can see how dangerous that can be if a person is supposed to reach the age of seventeen in full health! Later that evening, the old guy called us in a state of complete hysteria and told us he had the Animal Rights Society, the police and a psychiatrist on his doorsteps. It turned out that the woman who lives next door to old Gramps, had called all those people and told them that Gramps had disguised himself as a teenaged girl and spent the whole afternoon hunting for flies in the neighbourhood gardens. This she claimed to have seen clearly with her binoculars and she furthermore stated that she also witnessed him cleaning and then frying the flies in a pan in his kitchen. I mean, hello! The woman is a complete idiot to actually confuse a beauty like myself with an old Ford like Gramps! The Freedom-masons apparently went in to a frenzied stampede when Gramps proudly lifted the lid of the tray to reveal sixty deliciously fat and lightly-roasted flies. The old men were escorted home in a state of shock by the police. As far as I´m concerned I had properly cleaned and gutted all the little critters before I fried them, so I think all that commotion was just hysteria and snob. I gave my best friend Joy, the very same Eskimo-recipe the other day and as I recall it, the results were that she managed to get rid of a whole crew of paracites in less than five minutes. They were just some starving friends of her brother Hallbert who were going to crash into a private dinner that poor Joy had intended for the new nerd she was dating. Joy cried and bawled her eyes out when the nerd joined the others and ran for his life saying: “Whoa! This chick is nuts!” But let us not forget that it´s no wonder the nerd fled, because Hallbert, who was obviously green with envy and greed becouse he wasn´t invited to the dinner, said to him:”Joy always uses flies or foxtails in her cooking, depending on her mood.” God, I hope I will be discovered soon! I´m so cool. That´s for sure. Written by: Jóna Rúna Kvaran;      Translated by: Nína Rúna Kvaran; Email .. ...