This page is dedicated to the works of Jóna Rúna Kvaran.
Harmony´s famous cure for acne
Dad is a nervous wreck these days because he´s so awfully selfconscious. The thing is that he´s got this enormous pimple on his nose that can easily be seen in the dark! He´s been to the doctor and everything but the button just seems to grow and grow. Dad hasn´t gone to work for two weeks and it´s driving everyone nuts here at home. Mom is falling into fits of hysteria two or three times a day.
I could clearly see that Dad has been sneaking around and using my acne-makeup. Let us not forget that I can´t afford major bucks for some new cream at this time. The old man is nevertheless denying the theft, but I could clearly see how guilty his face looked when he realised that I keep a very thorough inventory of my belongings. If he´s staying home for one more day I´ll be forced to move out into the garden, honestly! I told him that I could easily solve this matter for him and I gave him a special garlic-cream that I made out of some pods.
The old man rubbed the stuff into his face and we stopped mistaking him for the bloated orange that he had come to look like. But what do you think happened last night? Well the old set ventured out to the movies and the film was abruptly stopped when it was about halfway through and an old lady that had been sitting beside Mom and Dad had to be carried out in a coma. When they finally came back home, Dad said that I was an idiot for using the garlic in the acne-cream.
I told him that it had never been my plan that he sit beside some old hysterical virgin if he went to the movies and if I wasn´t mistaken the disgusting mushroom on his nose had disappeared! The old antique must just have had a stroke and probably because the movie was to provocative for a worn-out old crumpet like her.
Mom in her infinite wisdom and slyness said:”The pimple must have evaporated during all the commotion and I certainly don´t remember seeing anything dirty on the screen, although I did look away a few times.” Old Pops didn´t exactly agree with Mom on this matter and said:” I ripped the horrid thing off myself in midst of all the racket and I put it in my pocket!” I think it´s pretty unfair that the old set is trying to take the pimple-credit away from me.
The garlic simply worked. I, for example, advised my friend Joy to use my famous garlic cream on a nasty herpes simplex and everything worked out for her at once! As I recall, her boyfriend Charlie vanished without a trace from a major make-out session and he hasn´t been seen or heard from since. Joy had tried every trick in the book to get rid of the guy and lo and behold! The garlic managed to disengage the dude from her. She still has the herpes thing on her lips and it has grown. But let us not forget that Joy was so tired of Charlie that there is no wonder that something started to abnormally grow on her.
I hope I´ll be discovered soon. I´m so cool. That´s for sure.
Written by: Jóna Rúna Kvaran;
Translated by: Nína Rúna Kvaran;
